Judgement Day

For those who were expecting my review of the Arnold Schwarzeneggeagoinerg critically acclaimed sci-fi thriller I am sorry to disappoint.  This post is about The End of the World!

Does anyone know what time RAPTURE starts?  There are a few things that I know I shouldn't have put off until the last minute.  Graduate school is not one of those things.  Turns out if I select "Dr." instead of "Mr." from the drop down menus on online forms, that becomes my official title.  Why would I ever do a thesis if I can get the same rewards with one click of a mouse?

Here are a few things I need to do:

1. Get a T.V. and some books.  Yes we have a television in the living room, but what if it is all radioactive out there?  I don't want to leave my room if it gets me infected.  Also I should bring food storage in here in case zombies end up in the kitchen, I've never trusted that kitchen.
2. Own more guns, and dogs.
3. Learn science.  I'm sorry world, but it is going to be a while if I have to re-invent electricity, telephones, cars, airplanes, bubble wrap, etc.
4. Steal Ford Erickson's megaphone.  He's the only person I know who has one.  Also I am not one of those people who can whistle really loud, or at all.  I can't whistle. I would be embarrassed to say something about it, but most of you will be dead? (right? what happens on judgement day any way?) before reading this.  So who cares?
5. LOVE YOU MAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (and dad, sisters, bros, besties, etc, etc)
6. Write a will for my children . . . have children . . . have a mother for my children . . . get married . . . get a girlfriend . . . ok, I'm too far behind for number six to have any value or purpose
7. . . . OH! a boat.  Definitely I will need a boat, and a non-radioactive zombie companion who is good at manning the docks while I bark orders from the captain's quarters.

Ok, this is becoming frivolous and unproductive.  Why am I blogging at 7 pm on Friday night?  Here's the deal, if the world ends tomorrow I have 80 hours of unused paid vacation days that I'll take to the grave with me.  Lame. 

HOWEVER.  Let's just say by some miracle I survive and there are enough people around for me to keep my job and benefits.  I need to use these hours by August 31.  That's time to take two separate nine-day vacations if I use five days between weekends.  (If you don't understand the math on that, just trust me) 

Here's the thing.  I may be buying a home for the first time in my life in a couple of weeks, so I don't have money to backpack through Spain and exotic stuff like that until after I get my new vacation time on September 1.  So people, I need you to invite me on trips. 

"But I'm not going anywhere besides home this summer . . ." Great! It's about time I met the parents, we might as well get it out of the way now in case I marry you or one of your siblings or one of my kids and one of your nephews or whatever.  Ok, so I'm not entirely desperate for people to plan my getaways.  I am going to spend some of that time seeing my family, but they have jobs.  This means I'm not going to go spend 16 days in Rexburg because after three or four they're back to living their normal lives and there is nothing left for me to do. What I'm asking is if any of you are looking for a road trip companion to somewhere I have not been often, make me an offer.  I am an engaging and fun fun fun (yes three times) person to travel with and I love seeing nooks and crannies of this world that I have not known previously.

XOXO,
kwyNh

PS - R.E.M. could have made a better video for such a relevant song