Things that Tom taught me

As mentioned in a previous post, Thome Widdison taught me a lot of great things, namely how to wipe my bum-bum.

1- You only need to use four squares, at the most! This is the most important one, that is why it is number one. The economy is bad right now, no need to flush away clean TP.

2- Make sure you wipe thoroughly! Just because it looks clean, doesn't mean it is. There is nothing worse than finding leftover crumbs when you're supposed to be as clean and smooth as a baby's bottom. (Don't know if y'all noticed, but I just took a figurative saying, and gave it a literal application, lol ;)

3- Wipe the counters/mirrors/sink when you are done. it doesn't matter what you were doing in there, wash them anyways. Chances are they're dirty no matter what. The same rule that applied to your rear end applies here. Just because it looks clean doesn't mean it actually is.

4- Sweep the floor. Scrub the shower, run a dampcloth over the baseboards and the light fixtures. Throw away any all trash. This is not hard so i can never understand why it doesn't get done.

5. Pull up your pants and DO UP YOUR ZIPPER! This is also not hard. I still don't understand why it doesn't get done.

Seriously guys, these things are not hard and they are so worth the effort. No one wants roommates angry at them. No roommate wants a messy bathroom. They also don't want to have to go really bad but have to clean up other people's messes before they can relieve themselves. I cannot tell you how many times this has happened to me over the last 2 years. It's incredibly irritating. I know it's something i just have to live with but I just had to vent. thank you for reading... if you read this whole thing. And thank you THOME WIDDISON (because i KNOW you read the WHOLE thing. Probably 5 minutes after i posted it too. I know you stalk me. I also know you're proud of me for knowing how to clean. Yes, I am your bestie for teaching me how to clean properly)

Ardi "the oldest human"

Some of you may have heard of the oldest human skeleton that scientists found recently. Exciting? Yes. What I want to know is why did they name it after a dog? Seriously, Ardi? . . . What are they going to name the next oldest skeleton that they find, Patches? Spot? Woofie?
Here's what science is saying about this latest big find:
"This older skeleton reverses the common wisdom of human evolution," said anthropologist C. Owen Lovejoy of Kent State University.
"Rather than humans evolving from an ancient chimplike creature, the new find provides evidence that chimps and humans evolved from some long-ago common ancestor — but each evolved and changed separately along the way."
Oh science, you're so fickle. Just yesterday you were SOOOO sure that man descended directly from chimps. I mean, it was basically an irrefutable fact. What's next? You're going to realize that the world is actually triangle shaped?
Guess what science, I know what the common ancestor is, his name is ADAM. Get back to me when you can actually prove something instead of asking us all to accept your stupid "theories."

In honor of Tori and Amy (or maybe just ripping them off)

After reflecting on all the empty promises I've received from friends to come and visit, I've decided to begin my own "Reasons to Come" blog. Except instead of creating a new blog, I'm going to use this one.

I do this for a few reasons. First, because I'm not really blogging about anything else right now. By the way Andy Mayfield already came, so he's my best friend now. (If any of you noticed the erroneous structure of this paragraph, then you should be informed that in Arizona it is grammatically correct to start lists without finishing or even continuing them, awesome? ya i know)

Reason #1

A bunch of guys you don't know playing poker in my living room. There's plenty more where this came from.