As Said by Tim

After some time off from doing the school thing, I have re-dedicated myself (once again) to becoming a Master or a Doctor of something or another. In preparation for that I am taking exams that will allow me to do the school thing, in preparation for the exams I am once again learning how to study. Which means I am learning how to distract myself when my brain begins to lose focus, which hopefully explains why my blog has re-emerged! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!

Why do I need more education? Well my short-term goals include getting rich while using a university's resources to re-introduce the unicorn species back to Earth, then maybe selling unicorn burgers when they begin to over-populate and become pesky driving hazards, kinda like deer. My less short-term goal may include being a college professor at some point so I can have absurd amounts of vacation time and possibly just teach online courses for a while why living in a foreign land. . . er to help expand the minds of future generations and stuff.

When I'm not studying I do things called jobs to pay the bills. I believe that is jobs with a soft j, so its sounds more like yobs. The more I talk to people about their work, the more I believe that at least 70% of most everyone's job is dealing with stupid people.

Maybe stupid is a harsh term, let's say some of these people could be considered obtuse, or puerile. Those descriptions are only less offensive because the people I'm describing as such are too stolid to understand what they really mean. (Also it is possible that I didn't really know what those terms meant before looking them up recently, and I may just be throwing big words in my blog so as you read, you think he's really smart, he should be in grad school, he should be top of his class. Not saying that's what I did, just saying that it is possible.)

Anyway at one of my jobs there is a guy who works there who I'll call Jim, to protect his identity. His favorite phrase is "Let me ask you something." He gets really, uncomfortably, close to your face when he does it. So close you can see the small traces of tobacco around his teeth and gum line.

Then he comes up with a great question like "Who would win in a cage fight between Scrappy Doo and UnderDog?" or "If you were in a coma and someone came in and cleaned the floor with pine-sol, would it wake you up?"

Last Friday's question was the best. It started off something like this:

"Have you guys seen that Avengers movie? . . . I saw a commercial about it and there were little kids pretending to be super heroes in the grocery store. Now, let me ask you something, if you could choose between flying, being invisible, and playing mind games, what would you have as your super power?"

. . .

Ok, wait, kids, grocery store . . . mind games? What does that mean? Is that like being really good at Sudoku? Or being able to create your own crossword puzzles. Hmm, no thanks. I chose invisibility.

Tim agreed with me. He said flying is good, but if you were invisible you could sneak onto an airplane whenever you wanted. I had actually thought of that as well, but I don't want to admit to myself and certainly don't want Tim to know that we ever have similar thoughts. So I point out that this would only work if you could avoid touching or bumping into anybody, and you'd have to be the last one on hope to be able to claim an unused aisle seat.

Tim replied "Yeah but you could go anywhere! I could go to a WNBA game (really?) . . . and go hang out in the locker room . . ."

. . .

. . .

. . .

"You . . .(incredulous moment where I can't get any more words out) . . . 

. . .

You could go anywhere . . . and you choose a WNBA locker room?"

I think I laughed for 3 minutes straight after that. So did DeAndre. I know DeAndre is irrelevant to the story because I didn't mention him before, but he was there, and he laughed too. I mention that just in case this comes off as a "you had to be there" moment, because all the people there would agree that it's just straight up funny, whether you were there or not.