The first girl I let into my life and she tries to eat me

Zombies. Who invented them, and how did he get away with it? I imagine his first conversation about the undead went something like this:

"Hey I have this great idea for a movie! People are being chased by other people who are really slow.
But it's scary because the slow people are dead. Oh and they're hungry, but not just for burgers or something, they like to eat other people!
You with me so far? Great, so like I said the dead people are slow, but they're also stupid. They don't talk or use any strategy to try to get food they just walk after it. Kinda like chickens. Dead....people-chickens. Also they don't eat each other, even though they're dumb they can tell the difference between other dead people and live people and they only like to eat the live ones.

Now when a live person gets eaten by a dead one, they become a living dead person too. If there is enough of them to still walk, sometimes the dead ones leave enough of a recently living one behind for it to become another walking dead one as well, even though they're always hungry chasing live ones. They're like the opposite of Native Americans, they only eat like the first few bites and then walk off slowly chasing others.
Oh and you can kill them. Even though they're already dead. If you shoot them a few times with a shotgun they become more dead, and don't get up again. But it takes a few shots, they don't really die with just one.
...I'm thinking about calling them...zombies. What do you think?"

At which point I'm sure someone says "Why don't you just do a movie about vampires? They're sorta dead but not really, and they make a lot more sense."

To which Zombie Inventor replies "because I don't want my dead people to sparkle in the sunlight, moron."