As A Man Thinketh...

"Does anyone in here have two MAJOR personality types that are in OPPOSITE corners? . . . . I thought we had one . . . "

That's when I realized she was talking about ME.

I raised my hand and watched as every head in the room swung around and looked at me. "So does this make me bi-polar?"

"No," responded the lady in charge. "This just means you have two dominant personality types that contradict each other."

Oh, that's all. Good to know. Actually the personality assessments we completed at work did help me identify some useful information about myself. Things like how I generally get along with other personality types and how I'm usually calm and dependable. It also pointed out some of my negative traits that mostly come out when I'm experiencing stress.

But the whole multiple, dominant, opposite personalities thing is what stood out to me. Maybe that's why the phrase "be yourself" never made any sense to me. I don't know who "myself" really is.

A couple of days ago I walked outside from work and there was a pregnant lady I didn't recognize directly in front of me. She was talking on her cellular device and I could tell she was focused on her conversation and oblivious of my existence. My first thought was how funny it would be if I walked up and rubbed her belly once and then gave it two soft pats, like a father would give to a heroic dog after it saved his child from a grizzly bear, or a farmer congratulating his pig for winning a prize at the state fair.

This whole interaction would only take me a few seconds, I would barely stop walking long enough for the belly rubs and gentle pats. Then I would smile and say "congratulations" and give her a thumbs up while walking off and getting into my car and out of her life forever.

I can imagine the woman stopping in the middle of her conversation and staring open-mouthed at my backside as I walk off, while the person on the other end of her phone call says, "HELLO? . . . HELLO? . . . . hey you just stopped talking!"

Then after a pause pregnant lady says ". . . . that was really weird."

I decided against pursuing the aforementioned action and instead just walked right past pregnant lady without saying anything. I have multiple thoughts and impulses every day that are just kind of wacky like that. I don't act on most of them.

I don't hi-five my co-workers when they leave a rehearsed standard voice message over the phone as I walk by and shout out "NAILED IT!" . . . even though I want to sometimes.

I have this thing called "my better judgement." It stops me from asking a women if she's on her period every time she says something that I don't really understand.

Does not acting on these ideas mean I'm not being true to myself? Is the answer to this really basic philosophy 101 stuff that I'm just thinking about for the first time? Or I am just mindlessly rambling?

Also I often crave anything made out of avocado. That's not really relevant to this post, but I just wanted to make sure it was known.