Textual Relations

I still haven't wiped my phone clean to free up more memory. I'm afraid of accidentally erasing things I shouldn't. I have some vital information that I need to locate and write down on sticky notes before deleting all my texts. But it's happening soon, so before it does Ima shout out to my top 10 texters over the last year since I received my phone.
Also it seems like the phrase "my phone" is getting redundant. So I'm going to give it a name...Detlef Schrempf.  Yes! I like it.
Ok, this is too much fun. I'm going to name my car too. I've never had a car with a name, and I'm a little jealous of those who do. So, car, you are now known as...William Wallace!
Is it wrong to name one of my belongings after the acclaimed actor who played historical figures such as Braveheart and The Patriot? Nah, any man who can cause fits for that rotten King of England in two different centuries on two different continents is a friend of mine.
Hi laptop, your new name is Ringo Starr.
Now back to my top texters, not that any of you read my blog anymore (or ever did) but this is my shout out as a token of apology for "not being very responsive" (your words, not mine) when I'm at work, or eating, or watching a movie. Also I apologize for "forgetting to reply entirely" (your words again) because I got your text while I was showering, brushing my teeth, or had decided that I should be asleep already even though I wasn't quite yet.
So without further ado, in no particular order, here are my top 10 text buddies (those who surpassed 200 total) since around September 2010. Names have been slightly altered to protect the innocent, of course:

J-Viz
Jules (pronounced with a soft J, like in jogging/yogging)
Yo Stricktown!
My shell tarry
Stefan steal
Air n homes
Jonathan Si Mon!
Betchy mo
Kyleee OchoCinco
Britt knee may who?
T-Haws
Ah dree

If any of you who made this list are reading my blog, you know who you are. Actually you probably don't, and I haven't exchanged a text with a few of you since March or April-ish, so whatevs.  But thnks fr th mmrs (thanks for the memories). For those who didn't make the list, you're all going to start on equal ground once I delete them all so STEP UP YO GAME FOOLS!
Last thought, what's going on with the giant pink gorilla in a bikini? Do giant animal balloons really help sell more cars? Really Chapman Chevrolet? Really?