Use Your Words

Sometimes when Tom gets all flustered he can't say what he wants and he sounds like a 4 year old. But that is not what I wanted to talk about ;-D
I have always loved words. When I find someone that can string words together beautifully and artistically it is like magic to me. Cue in Nickelback, Zachary Paul Gibson and I were just talking about these studs a couple of nights ago.
Some of you may be aware that Billboard just named Nickleback the "Band of The Decade." If this is true, then we should celebrate! Why, you ask? Because we have just survived the worst decade in the history of the world.
Now I'm not saying that Billboard was ever the best source to search if you wanted to find GOOD music, but come on, Nickelback? The thoughts that go through my head every time I hear a Nickleback song are pretty much summed up by the fine words shared by the gentleman in this clip:


Let's look at a few of Nickleback's most provoking, shall we?

Feeling fine, Lets rip out yours instead of mine

And all you need

Are several ways to watch me bleed?

Well, thanks for stoppin' this beating in my chest

It's easier now, and I'm happy like this

Just like this

I feel ya, bro. It actually gets worse. I went to a website that had all the Nickleback albums listed with the lyrics for each song. What I found is that each album finds these modern day Mozarts diving deeper into an inner struggle only REAL men face.
Real men who are 30-something and got their own place . . . in the trailer park where they don't have to worry about their mom walking in on them watching "Girls Gone Wild." who are paying child support to a teenage girl they met one fateful night at the bowling alley. Real men who would consider vaccuuming the carpet if they could find it under all the beer bottles and halfway crushed Red Bull cans.
The issue with these "real" men, is that gosh darnit, they have feelings too! They just lack the vocabulary to express themselves, thank goodness Nickleback is there to do it for them.

That's why for every jam they create like "Figured You Out"

And I love the way you pass the check
And I love the good times that you wreck
And I love your lack of self-respect
While you passed out on the deck
I love my hands around your neck

(This is just a terrible song. I didn't post anything else from it because it could be considered pretty offensive, but if you're curious enough to witness the worst song writing ever, just google it)

They're able to counter attack with a ballad like "Photograph"

Kim's the first girl I kissed
I was so nervous that I nearly missed

(I actually had a hard time picking just one line from this song, it's such a masterpiece. You really should take the time to look this one up. I'm suspecting Nickelback stole the lyrics from someone's freshman poetry assignment at that high school he sings about breaking into)

And for every "Rockstar"

And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny With her bleach blond hair
(Author's note: If I ever hear you blastin this from your pickup truck, I will judge you. I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't, I just can't help it under those type of conditions)

There is a "Gotta Be Somebody" or a gem like "I'd Come For You"

By now you'd know that I'd come for you
No one but you, yes I'd come for you
But only if you told me to
And I'd fight for you
I'd lie, it's true Give my life for you
You know I'd always come for you
(Not sure if Nickleback's inspiration for this song was Bryan Adams or Hanson . . . or both)

We get it Nickleback. Because we live in the USA where you have an inalienable right to freedom of speech, we unfortunately cannot make you stop. But your decade is over now, please just go away.