Sometimes

Sometimes I go hiking on those days when I don't have to go into the office first thing in the morning.

Sometimes I wear a sweat band on my head hoping to draw attention to my face, so that those trail running pervs will stop staring at my sensational legs and booty.

Sometimes I decide that if I have to go to Wal-Mart (I hate going there, but lately I haven't been able to find the smaller packages of Wholly Guacamole at Fry's or Fresh and Easy) that I'll probably fit in better if I go all sweaty wearing gym clothes and a head band.

Sometimes when I'm driving through the parking lot leaving the Walton's Empire I look around to make sure no one is trying to run up and slash my tires (crazy people hang out around that place).

Sometimes I make eye contact with some boy in his late teens or early twenties but look away at the same pace since I am just scanning the parking lot for vandals and hoodlums.

Sometimes I see the boy waving at me out of the corner of my eye as I am already looking away. So I glance back and see he's still waving at me and has an indignant expression on his face that says "Ummm excuse me, I was totally waving at you..."

Sometimes I realize in that moment that the guy in the parking lot totally wants to get with me, but I have no interest in him, or dudes in general, unless they are dudes that will help me meet women. Which if you think about it, I bet girls love to go shopping with him and that he doesn't complain about having to sit through any movie starring Channing Tatum. He probably has lots of friends who are girls because they know that physical attraction will never get in the way of their friendship. Missed opportunity? Maybe. The quick wave I give back as I drive on past indicates that I'm friendly and sorry for initially ignoring him, but I'm not really sorry.

Sometimes all of this stuff doesn't really happen more than once, but it happened to happen yesterday, which is cool because March 13 is probably the least significant day of this week by normal standards.